Glitter & Trauma
by lefcadio
Summary: WIP. SemiAU. Kamina x Simon, Rossiu x Kinon. How might their future have proceeded if a certain person had survived the battle for DaiGanzan? Misconceptions, betrayal and opposing factions in a fledgling government. Spoilers through timeskip.
1. How Can You Not Care?

"So in conclusion, we're still having problems supplying enough housing and food; our resources are overstretched and new groups of people are arriving into the city every day. We don't even know how many underground villages are left." 

Rossiu paused, clutching the sheaf of papers in tense fingers as he glanced down along the long cluttered meeting table. "I've discussed the housing situation with Dayakka-san, who's agreed to take responsibility for calculating the resources needed and putting together a feasible roster. The waiting list still needs to be updated though, and we need to be sure to be fair and adhere to it--" 

"--I'll do that," Kidd interrupted, half raising his hand, "I've been keeping track of it anyway." 

"Okay," Rossiu's look of worry eased a fraction, and he fumbled with his papers, trying to force his tired mind to move onto the next issue; trying to ignore the exhaustion and lingering headache. 

This wasn't what he should be doing, leading their meetings like this. Research and general administration - that's what he'd expected. He was younger than most of them, yet here they all were, staring at him like they expected him to provide the answers. 

It wasn't fair. But he did it, had made it his life over these past four years, because he loved this fledgling city of theirs and it was necessary. 

All the while their _leader_, their figurehead... well. Rossiu tried to stem the bitterness, always tried to remind himself of what he'd done, everything he'd achieved in the past... but, this. This wasn't leading. 

"So what do you think, Kamina-san?" he suddenly said roughly. Rossiu stood up and fisted his hands against the table, objectives-for-the-day crushed between his fingers. There was an abrupt deathly silence, but Rossiu continued desperately, blindly hoping that perhaps today would be the day that-- 

"About what?" 

The casual question came from the head of the table where Kamina sat looking vaguely bored, slouched back in his chair. Simon was beside him; Rossiu didn't think he could ever remember a time this had not been the case. It seemed Kamina didn't even bother pretending to be interested, these days. 

"...about the current issues facing the city," he said carefully, trying to keep his voice even. Rossiu was aware of all eyes around the table glancing between him and their leader, anxiously observing and praying for a peaceful outcome. He set his jaw and continued, determined not to back down this time. He'd had enough. "What we should do about the food troubles, for example. The logistics are--" 

Rossiu broke off, shocked, as Kamina shrugged. In fact, Kamina looked vaguely resentful, and was currently stabbing the nib of a pen repeatedly into the table in front of him; anything to avoid looking at Rossiu, it seemed. 

This... wasn't right. Rossiu's hands were trembling slightly, and when he blinked again he realised he didn't recognise any of these people. When had this happened? This couldn't be their Kamina, leader of the Dai-Gurren Dan, who had once captured even Rossiu's skeptical heart with his inspiring speeches and never-failing courage. This... this couldn't be their Kamina, who sat looking so out of place without his crimson cape, spiky sunglasses and bared tattoos. 

This Kamina was now staring obstinately at the ceiling, oblivious, and no-one seemed to mind. 

"How... how can you not _care_?" Rossiu's voice broke slightly, and without even realising it he was suddenly shouting, all the disappointment and betrayal that had been building up inside him manifesting finally as rage. "_How can you sit there and_ shrug, _when this city can barely support itself_?! I can't believe--" 

"Don't say things like that!" A quiet, determined voice rang out, silencing him. 

Of course. Rossiu took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, noticing the grateful look Kamina threw Simon. 

"Why not?" He whispered, mouth dry, hating that he had to be the one to say these things. 

Simon was looking at Kamina as he spoke, and it was a clear gaze of unwavering loyalty. It made Rossiu feel faintly ill. "Because Aniki is Aniki. He's the reason we got to where we are today; how can you say he doesn't care?! He's always looking out for us, even if _you_ can't see it--" Simon turned and cast Rossiu an almost pitying look. "You have no right to speak to him that way." 

Simon's words fell clearly across the meeting room, though he hadn't raised his voice at all. Rossiu sat down, suddenly losing the will to object; how could it be worth it, when everyone else seemed to be looking at the two of them so proudly, and with such faith? 

Why couldn't any of them see the truth? 

"We're outta here," Kamina announced, a strange expression in his eyes that Rossiu couldn't quite read. He was probably daring him to object. "Let's go, Simon." 

The only sound was that of the scraping of chairs being pushed back, and then the echoing footsteps of their _mighty leader_ and his loyal shadow leaving. Heavy doors banged shut. 

Rossiu only permitted himself a split-second of panic and internal chaos, before lifting his head determinedly and smoothing out his crumpled papers against the table. Control, he needed to be in control. How else could he look after this city? 

"Returning to the food issue..." He slipped back into the familiar role so easily, reeling off where he suspected the problems lay, and how likely it was to get worse if nothing was done about it. 

It was Kittan who gave him a reassuring grin - (almost _pitying_, and Rossiu raked a hand through his dark hair) - and said he'd take care of it. 

He couldn't quite bring himself to smile, but Kittan seemed to sense Rossiu's relief and gratefulness, and waved it off, already scribbling on the writing pad which lay before him. Kittan was dependable; he'd get good people working on the right things, Rossiu knew. 

A little of the weight lifted from his heart. "Good work, everyone," he said automatically, standing up and beginning to collect together his things, "this concludes today's council meeting." 

A low buzz of conversation started up all around him as the others got to their feet and began to filter from the room; he wasn't even trying to listen but could still pick out his own name, and Kamina's being mentioned - the gossip would no doubt get even worse now. It was his own fault, he knew; Rossiu made little effort to hide how he felt about Kamina's current role. 

But the rumours of a divide in the council had been lingering for months now, and he was quickly realising that he needed to put a stop to them before they became too damaging. 

"Solidarity..." he murmured quietly to himself, shaking his head a little and taking a step forwards straight into Kittan. "Ah!" Rossiu jumped back and smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry, I should've been paying attention..." 

Kittan laughed and then paused, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, evidently hesitating about something. Rossiu stepped around the other man and began to walk, looking back curiously, "something I can help you with?" 

He heard Kittan hurrying to follow him, and they fell in line as they reached the large doors leading out to the main corridor. "Ahh, sorta..." Rossiu studied Kittan out of the corner of his eye as they walked; he, too, looked much older - the stress of this new life had taken its toll on most of them, and Kittan had been an integral part of getting things up and running. He had, Rossiu thought pointedly, certainly been much more responsible than Kamina. "You're goin' to the lab now, right? I wanted to speak to Kinon, haven't seen much of her recently with everything that's been going on." 

"Oh, of course." Rossiu pushed his hair out of his eyes and didn't say anything else; whatever it was Kittan really wanted to get off his chest would be better said without prompting. 

"Solidarity..." Kittan finally mumbled, and Rossiu turned sharply. 

"What?" 

"That's what you said, isn't it?" Kittan shoved his hands deep into his pockets and stared out of the passing windows as they walked. "Did you mean it?" 

They stopped outside a lift, Rossiu absently pushing the call button. "Of course I did." 

"I think you're a good kid, Rossiu," Kittan suddenly said roughly, looking a little embarassed, "and you're great at what you do. But what was that in there today? Goin' off the rails at Kamina ain't gonna achieve anything. And like you said, we all need to be on the same side here." 

A musical chiming noise sounded, and the doors next to them slid open silently. 

Oh. Kittan, too. 

"I..." He hesitated, stepping into the lift and blindly reaching for the button which would take them down to the lab's level. The artificial light was harsh, and Kittan was watching him with a guarded look in his eyes, waiting. "I admit, that was perhaps the wrong way to go about it..." 

At that the other's expression relaxed slightly, as though Rossiu were some kind of blind fool who couldn't see the practicalities of the situation. Even Kittan thought that little of him. 

"However, for all intents and purposes, I still stand by what I said." He folded his arms and had to look up a little to meet Kittan's gaze defiantly, suddenly feeling their age difference acutely. "I just... I just don't understand why you all simply accept the way Kamina-san behaves." 

Kittan's hand came down upon Rossiu's shoulder heavily, gripping reassuringly. The doors slid open again and Kittan flashed him a quick grin, before releasing him and strolling out. "That's because _you_ don't understand Kamina," he called out behind him lightly, "try talking to Simon about it, why don't ya?" 

Rossiu stared after him, and soon he was alone in the thin, shadowed corridor. He sighed and leaned back against the wall, head connecting with a gentle thump, eyes closed. Perhaps he _should_ speak to Simon at that. If anyone knew why Kamina was acting this way it would be him - though Rossiu suspected it would be all too likely for him Simon to be on the defensive, and refuse to tell him anything at all. 

But this was hardly a new problem, so perhaps it was already too late. Now that Kittan had pressed the idea upon him, though, he was sure that Simon could be the key... 

He felt a flicker of guilt for thinking this way, as he still considered Simon a friend. Not that they spent much time together, these days. Rossiu found he regretted it, and bit his lip as he fought the urge to go searching for Simon right then. 

No. There was work to be done. 

"Rossiu-san!" He started as Kinon's familiar voice echoed down the hallway. She was hurrying towards him, cheeks flushed and glasses slipping down her nose. "There's - there's an incoming call from Simon and the Commander, I really think you need to come and hear it!" 

"What about?" He followed her a little further down the corridor into the main communications center, where Kittan was standing and staring at a monitor avidly. "Oi, where've you been? Look at this!" 

"They've found something," Kinon elaborated, sounding more matter-of-fact as she calmed down a little, "no, some_one_." 

Rossiu stopped beside Kittan, exchanging a quick glance before speaking up, "go ahead, Simon-san--" 

"We found her in a box!" Simon's concerned face filled the screen, and he glanced behind him, peering out of Lagann, "but she won't wake up, I think she's in a coma. Aniki's got her, she's still breathing." 

Rossiu stared, trying to process this strange news, "definitely not a beastman?" 

"Nope," Simon confirmed, "she looks completely human... we're gonna bring her back, okay? We'll explain more when we arrive." 

He felt inexplicably wary of this news, but refusing to allow them to bring her here would be unjustifiably callous. And Simon was watching him carefully, as though _expecting_ him to object... "all right," he agreed cautiously, "but we'll take care of her in confinement until she's better." 

For the first time in months, Simon gave him a genuine smile, and Rossiu felt his heart lift. 

"Gotcha -- Aniki!" Simon's voice became faint as he moved away, "we're taking her back!" Rossiu watched him glance back at the communicator and give it a loose, casual salute before he cut the connection. 

Kinon was quiet for a moment before speaking up, concern evident in her voice as though she already knew what he was thinking, "so what can it mean?" 

Kittan looked lost in thought, and Rossiu stared up at the dark blank screen from where Simon had smiled at him only moments before. 

"I think," he said heavily, "it might mean trouble." 

------------------ 

**Next time**: So where did Kamina and Simon go? What's with the mysterious girl in a box, and how is Rossiu planning to use her?! In chapter 2: _"You're a strange chick, you know that?"_


	2. You're A Strange Chick, Aren't You?

"He doesn't really mean it."

Kamina shook his head with a short, humourless laugh as they headed away from the main meeting room, slowing his pace a little to fall into step with Simon. "Yeah, he did, and you know it."

And somehow, it had felt different to the previous times. Perhaps Rossiu was reaching his limit; Kamina wouldn't blame him. He was a bit surprised he'd been patient for so long, actually.

The sun outside the windows was still high in the sky, and shafts of bright light fell across the flooring and dull walls in front of them. He missed the open air; it was still something of a mystery to him why everyone seemed to love being enclosed like this - hadn't they had enough of that, being trapped underground for so many years?

Simon was being unusually silent; Kamina gave him a gentle shove and grinned as he stumbled, "what's wrong with _you_?"

He received a weak smile in return, but Simon didn't even seem to want to look at him. "It's just... how can you not let it bother you when Rossiu says things like that? I always thought I knew him, but recently he's--"

"You do know him," Kamina interrupted, voice a little rough, "you shouldn't doubt that. But we've all changed." He suddenly wished he had something to kick. "Or should have."

"But you don't need to." Simon's voice was surprisingly hard, and Kamina glanced round to see that he'd stopped in his tracks.

"Simon--"

"No! Haven't you always told me I should just be myself? That I should believe in myself?"

"Yeah, but--"

"So what, have you forgotten your own advice now, or does it just not apply to you any more?!"

"...you know," Kamina said casually, "we're the same height now."

Simon blinked, momentarily thrown, "wait, what?"

"I always thought I'd be taller than you."

"Don't change the subject," Simon shoved him back, though it was a half-hearted effort.

"Look," Kamina threw an arm around Simon's shoulder and pulled him close, "don't worry, okay? If it makes you feel any better, I do understand where he's comin' from."

He only received a dubious stare for this, so instead started making wild gestures with his free hand. "I'm made for different things! You know it, I know it, Rossiu knows it... hell, everyone does. And Forehead, well, we all know he can be a bit... overbearing, an' I don't like the way he handles some stuff, but... he's the best we got."

Simon made as though to interrupt, but Kamina shook his head and steered them into a stairwell. He paused and glanced at Simon, whose eyes were still worried.

"I'm not..." he began in a low voice, and released Simon to stick his hands in his pockets as he descended the stairs, "I'm not an idiot. I'm also not as heartless as Rossiu apparently thinks."

"I never--!" His little bro' was hurrying after him, obviously working himself up for an indignant outburst.

"Yeah, yeah -- okay! I know; I wasn't talking about you. I mean, you of all people know what it's like for me..." He tugged mindlessly at the cuffs of his dark shirt, as ever acutely aware of the role he was playing, and at the same time trying to avoid. "I hate politics, I hate the meetings, I hate talking and _talking_ about all this theoretical stuff that ain't gonna affect anything apart from whether or not taxes next quarter should be up one percent or two percent--" he broke off, frustrated.

"It's all right, Aniki, I do know," he glanced up and gave Simon a smile, because it was the truth. He'd only made it this far because of Simon, after all. Their footsteps echoed, and the stairs seemed neverending. Despite this, it still beat taking that tiny box of a lift.

"I'd step down, if I could," he admitted, "but I've heard Rossiu's speech on _that_ matter more often than I've made a fucking decision - and worse still, he's right, so I can't even take off like Yoko did."

It was a simple enough matter; Kamina and Simon were the great heroes, the two who had led the humans to victory against the Spiral King - had recaptured the surface and given freedom to all. The people had wanted a leader, and they had wanted Kamina. They trusted Kamina.

If only they knew how little he deserved it.

He didn't wallow in self-pity or regrets; he refused to allow himself to become that sort of man. But over the last four years it felt as though... something within him had been dulled. He knew Simon sensed it too.

And more than anything, he hated feeling useless. For a long time, he had tried to pay attention in the council meetings, and had tried to participate, even if they did make his head feel as though it were stuffed with cotton-wool. Even if his ideas were superfically accepted, but then subtly moulded into more _realistic_, more _logical_ versions, until eventually they couldn't have come from his mind at all. But it all didn't spark anything within him; didn't make him feel _alive_. So gradually he volunteered less, and Rossiu was always there to pick up the slack. Again, and again.

For a long time... no-one had cared. They'd all just accepted it - when had he suddenly become above criticism?

Simon had spoken to him about it, of course. Had listened, had understood. Had told him he should get his act together and decide one way or another. He'd appreciated it, just like he appreciated Rossiu's aborted attempt to chastise him back in the meeting.

But regardless of the sentiment, it still didn't change the facts of the situation: if Kamina stepped down, there would be public uproar. If he tried to offer advice or guide economic decisions, it would not end well for any of them.

He was a figurehead who signed some documents. Simon, too, though he seemed marginally more content in the role.

Kamina stopped suddenly as they reached the exit at the bottom, startled from his thoughts by Simon's hand clutching tightly at his arm.

"Do you... do you ever wish you'd gone with her?"

Simon sounded strangely subdued, and it didn't take a genius to work out what he was thinking about now.

Kamina poked him in the chest. "Oi." He pushed open the door and leaned back against the frame, gazing out into the gloomy sidestreet. "it was impossible, you know that."

"But would you have gone, if you could?"

A strange silence hung briefly in the air, and Kamina met Simon's eyes honestly.

"Only if you could've come as well."

"But--!"

Kamina coughed and looked away, stepping outside to begin striding into the darkness of the alley. He didn't want to revisit the subject of Yoko right now.

"Oi, keep up!" He yelled, and grinned as Simon caught up to him, who was smiling, but had an unreadable expression his eyes.

Kamina felt vaguely unsettled; he wasn't used to that.

The inside of the main hangar was cool and airy - and mostly empty. Rossiu's influence could be seen here, too. However, when it had come to ganmen, Kamina knew what he was talking about and had refused to compromise. When Rossiu had suggested they should actually _destroy_ some of the ganmen, he'd been in a foul mood for days.

Kamina raised an arm in greeting as he spotted Leeron on the far side of the hangar; he was working on developing some new kind of mech, with a fascinated Gimmy and Darry looking on.

New mechs - Kamina was happy to go along with that plan, but destroy their hard-earned ganmen? Fuck that. He'd grudgingly allowed some to be put in storage as a compromise, but only after making Rossiu swear he wouldn't touch them.

He watched Simon jog over to meet the others, and found himself wondering when Gimmy and Darry had grown so big. They were, what... twelve, now? He never could remember. Gimmy gave a gleeful shout as he saw Simon and ran over, talking excitedly about something.

Kamina noticed Darry looking at him curiously; he gave her a wave and turned away - all he wanted at the moment was to get out of here.

And - there. Gurren Lagann stood proudly in the far corner, promising freedom and _space_ and time away from this city.

He grinned.

Kamina readily admitted that this crash had been his fault - okay, so he'd been a bit frustrated with not finding any rebel beastmen that needed fighting, and yeah, he'd been careless. But - there'd been that _almost-perfect_ ring of stone, and he'd been so sure he could get them through it - that's what it was there for, right? He couldn't ignore a chance like that!

But as Simon was now pointing out, he supposed he could have at least checked that there wasn't a hundred-foot drop behind it. Since, in fact, there had been.

He rubbed his head and jumped out of Gurren's cockpit. Geez, they hadn't even ended up anywhere interesting - he didn't know why Simon had bothered wandering off, it was all just rocky and grey and misty--

"Aniki!"

Kamina heard the sound of running footsteps echoing, and headed in their direction, "what is it?"

"I - over there, a girl - box--" he gave one glance to Simon's frantic expression and nodded - Simon just grabbed his wrist in hot fingers and pulled, dashing back in the other direction.

She looked as though she was sleeping, but her breaths came so rarely it took him a few minutes to be certain she was alive. "How..." Kamina trailed off, still staring down at her. The girl looked younger than him; maybe a little younger than Simon, even. She was so pale, and so thin.

"With - with this drill..." Simon was holding it up numbly, clutching it so hard in his hand it would leave marks against the flesh. "It was shut... but, but somehow I knew... and it opened it..."

Kamina reached in and pressed his fingers to the pulse point in her neck; it was there all right, but unbelievably slow. He brushed her white hair aside and gave her shoulder a gentle shake.

"Aniki--!" But despite Simon's protest, she did not wake. "What should we do?"

He said it without thinking: "we'll have to take her back." They couldn't just abandon her here, after all - what sort of man would do that? Simon was nodding slowly, but he wasn't looking at Kamina.

"How - how long do you think she's been here?" Simon whispered, still peering into the box, almost entranced. Kamina saw how his fingers trembled as they gripped the edges, and frowned.

"Look, Simon - I think we ought to call the lab and let 'em know; would you do it?" He watched Simon nod distractedly, and then tear his gaze away from the unconscious girl, hurrying the short distance across the rocky ground back to Gurren Lagann.

Kamina sighed, watching the pale girl's still features for a moment before reaching in to gently pick her up. "You're a strange chick, aren't you?" he murmured, turning away from the box which would probably have ended up her grave, "Rossiu'll be suspicious of you. Don't blame 'im, actually..."

He fell silent, wondering if perhaps she might not wake up at all. She weighed practically nothing in his arms.

"Aniki!" He looked up and saw Simon gesturing him over, looking pleased, "we're taking her back!"

Kamina cast a fleeting last look around the desolate hollow and set out to join Simon at their ganmen.

"...should I take her in Lagann with me?"

If some part of him hadn't been objecting furiously, he might've laughed at the blatant forced casualness of Simon's request. Kamina could practically see the blush already.

"Yeah, sure," he tried to keep his voice light, and passed the cool doll of a girl into Simon's waiting arms.

Throughout the journey back to the city, Kamina kept trying to work out what it was that was bothering him about this situation. Sure, the girl was a bit suspicious - but she wasn't a beastman, and there was no real reason to think she might be a threat. She was cute, yeah, and Simon seemed very taken with her... wasn't that a good sign?

Yeah. Yeah, it was.

But...

He told himself, very firmly, to shut the hell up.

They were just approaching the outskirts of the city when a call came through. "It's the good Secretary," Kamina commented lazily, "shall we see what he wants?"

Simon laughed and accepted the communications request, and the solemn but ever-calm face of Rossiu appeared.

"What's up?" Kamina hoped this wasn't just going to be another lecture on 'being more circumspect when returning to the city in Gurren Lagann'.

But as it turned out, unfortunately, it wasn't.

"Simon-san," Rossiu said, and Kamina could see Kinon hovering in the background behind him. "When you land, please could you come to see me in the lab? Bringing the girl, of course." There was a pause, and for a moment Kamina was left nonplussed. They'd been going to do that anyway, right?

"But _just_ you and the girl," Rossiu added, his expression not changing, "no slight intended, Commander. It's just I have something to request of Simon-san."

Kamina frowned. This _did_ sound suspicious, and he was half-hoping Simon might refuse. But clearly something wasn't on his side today - and so it was half an hour later, he stayed at Gurren's side with a strange ache in his stomach, and watched his friend's back as he walked away carrying the girl.

Simon didn't even look back.

- - - - -

**Next time**: Rossiu's request to Simon, Kamina's getting resentful, Simon's revisiting the past, and a long-lost acquaintance appears! In chapter 3: "Only a beastman would be this stupid."


End file.
